Lets get together {Angel/Spike/Open}

[buffy anne summers]

If she could do magic, she probably would be evoking her power right about now and wishing this all away. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she needed Angel. And even Spike. Both of them were outside eyes and more help, two things she needed more than ever. They might be able to spot something other people were missing. And if worst came to worst, they would be able to help her track down and kill all the sired potentials. They were the only people she knew would be able to help her. She couldn't hand over that responsibility to Willow or Xander. She wouldn't do that. It would damage them too much. Buffy was already past the point where lines blurred together, but they weren't. They were still human and she didn't want to damage that, didn't want to put anything on their soul. So she would take care of it, she always had. At least with the two vampires here she wouldn't have to do it alone. She only hoped that there would be no more turned, that the ones missing were the only ones she would have to deal with. Somehow she didn't think she would be that lucky.

She turned her head to the open window, glancing outside at the nightlife. From the third story she could see a decent amount of the town, even the lake far off in the distance. The roads were dotted with street lamps and car headlights, everyone living their normal life. Somewhere down there were her potentials, now vampires. And it was up to her to make sure they didn't hurt anyone. She only hoped she would be able to carry that out. She didn't have time to let her personal life get in the way, she couldn't let this whole Spike thing bother her. At least not now. She pushed it as far back in her mind as she could, trying her best to forget it. She had gotten good at forgetting things, after all she had went most of the last few years hardly speaking about the blonde vampire. Of course, that didn't mean she didn't think about him. She had thought about him, a lot more than she cared to remember, especially now that it turned out he wasn't really gone. She really had to stop thinking about this and she really had to do it now. Letting out a sigh she returned her gaze to Angel, avoiding Spike. Maybe if she didn't look at him she wouldn't have to remember the past years without him?

"Its spontaneous. Some of them have been attacking, and others we only have the confirmed reports that they are turned. It seems as if they aren't suppose to be attacking yet, but some of them can't help it." She stood up straight, taking a step away from the table she was leaning against before. They were talking business, and it was better. She could almost pretend this way, so they would do this. Talk business. Most likely she would end up having one on one conversations with both of them, but it was difficult when they both were here. "We think whoever is doing this is trying to raise as many as they can, and then attack. But a few of them are getting loose and wanting to come back here to see their old friends. Two of them attacked us, out of the 4 confirmed vampires. One got away, the other didn't." She said simply, her eyes still avoiding Spike.

He wasn't saying much, with bothered her. It wasn't like him to keep his mouth shut like this. He was obviously thinking and that bothered her. She wanted to know what had been going on in his head, why he didn't tell her that he was alive and well. She had a million questions to ask and a million comments to make and she wanted to hit him a million times and scream at him for a million years. He had no clue what he had done, how he had left her like that. God, having two vampires in front of you, both who you loved at one time or another, was not a good way to start your night. When he started talking she found it harder to avoid looking at him, so she did. And almost regretted it as soon as her eyes landed on his. She froze again, her heartbeat increasing even more. She almost couldn't pay attention to what he was saying. While her initial reaction had been confusion, quickly followed by anger, that was starting to wear off. And now she was just more or less in shock. Because he really was standing there and she found it so hard to believe. He had the same clothes, the same hair, and the same stare. It was really him, no doubt about it.

She swallowed, thinking over his question. It was something the scoobies had discussed briefly. She had this idea in the back of her head about the why, she just hadn't found time to voice it yet. "So far the only real thing in common is the potential-ness in them. There might be a possibility of whoever doing this trying to wipe out the slayer line." She had thought it over a few times, and so far there was no real reason to think that was the motive, but somehow she couldn't help thinking that was the reason. Buffy could be wrong, she had been in the past, but as of now that was what she was leaning toward. "If they sire a bunch of potentials, they have an army. They can use that army to kill off the rest of the potentials, Faith, and myself. Then tada, no more slayers. Its been attempted before, but no one has gotten his far." She paused, her eyes glancing to Angels and then over to Spikes. After a moment she reached forward, taking the stack pf papers back and letting them drop to the table.

As she turned back around to face them, she looked at her watch. "There isn't much to do tonight. But tomorrow I am going downtown to talk to a few snitches I know." She swallowed again, trying not to feel nervous. She knew when this 'meeting' was over, one of them would stay behind, and then she would have to have a conversation she was dreading. And either way, before the night was up, she probably would be talking to both of them at some point. This time, separately.


She had a thought in the back of her head. kill the potentials no more slayer

[angel]

With Spike, silence was usually like an uncommon reprieve. The vampire never ceased to annoy him. After over 100 years, he could still say just the right things to frustrate the brunette to no end. But for once, all of that silence was unnerving. It gave Angel more time to dwell on the situation going on between Buffy and Spike. He didn't want to mull over it. As much as Angel appreciated silence, this was awkward. A part of him wished that he had made the first visit alone, without Spike trailing along with him. But, this wasn't just Angel swinging by to visit Buffy (he never did that anyway), they were supposed to be handling a vamped potential problem. And that meant that they should both be there. After all, Spike was a good asset and he was a part of the team. But that selfish side of him wanted to have Buffy first. He wanted to be able to talk to her before the peroxide blonde had the chance. If Buffy knew what he was thinking, Angel was sure she wouldn't appreciate it. He wasn't trying to make a contest out of anything. She might have been angry with the younger vamp right now, but Angel was sure that would start to change after they got that out of the way and it was what happened after that that kept jumping back into his mind. Angel and Spike had argued enough over Buffy in the past and he knew that sharp banter or kicking Spike's ass all over Cleveland wasn't going to actually help matters. Nothing had happened and already it was a consideration. There were girls out there dying and Angel was worried about Buffy and Spike. It shouldn't be that way, but the two of them made it difficult to focus. As Spike finally spoke up, some relief passed over him, but not much. At least they were trying to stick to the problem at hand, but Angel had to wonder if he was the only one that didn't have it as clear in his thoughts.

"An army of potentials—" Whoever was doing it obviously had a clear plan to be succeeding as well as they were. It was one thing to attempt it, but another to actually have success enough to be a major concern. It didn't intimidate Angel, however. He had faced a lot of big evil and this wasn't one that was going to make him reconsider his fight. Hell, he'd faced legions of the Senior Partners, he was sure he could take on someone raising an army of girls to kill off the slayers. Well, not alone, but with the power of his team and Buffy's, he was sure that they would make progress and Angel had no qualms with killing off sired potentials. To the group, he knew they would be innocent victims and friends, but to Angel they were vampires that needed to be put down. This was what he did. It was very reminiscent of what he had been doing lately. He gained information about something, researched it, investigated and then took out whatever caused it. He was good at it and he wasn't going to let Buffy down, even if his thoughts were being wrapped up in the idea of her and captain peroxide together. "Well, they won't get any farther. We'll stop them before it comes to that." He offered in confidently, but they all knew that there were no guarantees. There never was.

The meeting was coming to a close. There was so little to say and while a part of Angel wanted to drag it on, he knew he couldn't. Nodding, at Buffy, he finally looked at her again. "I can come along... If you need it. Check out the snitches." Angel was good at prying information out of people, and while he knew Buffy to be skilled in it too, he figured he could offer a hand if she was willing. Angel wasn't going to force himself on her plans. If she would rather keep a distance while they worked then he would respect it because he had to. He had no way of knowing what she might want. There was so much that he wanted, but he was burying it all in order to focus and to act as casual as possible. If it was working, he didn't know it. Angel's mind was preoccupied, albeit how he tried to hide it. And with that said, he knew that it was probably him that was about to take his leave. What more did he have to say? He wanted to talk alone with Buffy. There was a lot he could have said to her, but not in the company of Spike and not when he knew that they probably had more to talk about. It was difficult for him to make the decision that he did and he took a reflexive breath before settling on it.

"I should probably make sure everyone gets settled." Because, Angel was the leader. If the meeting was over, it was right for him to leave. And he couldn't stick around with the two of them. He need to compartmentalize his feelings and practise that control that he was so good at. Enough time had passed and he should be able to work alongside of Buffy without any excess feelings. He was always going to love her, they both knew that, but it didn't have to get in the way. And maybe it would work if it wasn't for Spike and for that last conversation he'd had with Buffy in Sunnydale. It was right at the top of his mind. His every action from that point on might have seemed careless and it wasn't exactly by design. He was trying to care about saving people, not about what Buffy did. That was Angel's attempt to be strong, which might also be his attempt to run from the situation before he saw anything that he didn't want to. They would have to talk again and Angel knew coming to Cleveland would be hard, he just didn't properly measure just how hard it could be.

[spike]

The moments passing were tense there was no other word for it. There was no doubt something else on everyones mind when it should of just been the missing girls and the girls who might go missing. They were the priority yet it seemed like they were last on the list right now. That was not what they were here for, and Spike needed to keep his mind on the priority at hand. Potentials. They were the victims and they needed to be protected before more of them went missing or worse turned. That was probably another reason why Spike and Angel were called. It would be easier for them to get rid of a turned potential then it would be for Buffy or anyone else. This was a delicate situation.

Angel spoke giving Buffy hope and reassurance that they would be there and make sure nothing else happened to her girls. This was noble of him. Spike owuldn't of made that promise. He knew there was a very small chance that they were going to be able to keep that promise under the conditons. They didn't know who they were going up against, they didn't know how they were taking the girls, where they were taking them, and worse of all why they were taking them Though they all seemed to be thinking army of potentials. It was what was on his mind, and Buffy and Angel both voiced that they believed it as well.

Spike lingered in his thoughts some more as Buffy told them the plan so far was just to patrol. It was the best thing to do as they didn't have much else to do. Between herpatroliing and Angel offering to help, Spike wasn't sure where he was needed. If he was needed at all at this point.

Angel announced his leaving. 'Please don't leave me with her.' Spike thought to himself. He wasn't in the chattiest of moods at that moment. He knew it was inevitable though. Buffy surely wanted answers and if Buffy wanted something well that generally meant that Buffy got it. Spike just hoped that the hitting for the night was over.

[buffy anne summers]

She could try and pretend all she wanted that things were normal and nothing was bothering her, but in the end it just wasn't going to work out. She had never been that great at hiding her feelings, she was always the honest type. Or at least the hitting type. When things bothered her, she would go patrolling or throw a few punches. Her eyes glanced to Spikes face, confirming that last thought. Maybe she had an anger problem, or maybe it was just a slayer thing. Slayers weren't suppose to have friends or family. They were suppose to live a short life. So maybe they had this 'hit and talk later' mind set built into them. Buffy was a fluke, she had friends and family and she lived longer than any other slayer before her. And she was only getting older by the day, her chances of surviving getting slimmer each year. She would be 27 soon, how much longer was she really going to last? But she couldn't let thoughts of death get into her head, thats what got you killed. Had to always think in the here and now, not worry about the future.

So right now she was thinking about the two vampires in front of her. Granted, her thoughts should have been on the missing potentials, they were probably dead or vampires by now. She should have been thinking up ways to fix this problem, stop it from happening to anyone else. However, this small slayer was very much distracted. Spike had all of a sudden popped back up in her life, leaving her with the memories of their last few nights together and the last words they said. She didn't need to be thinking about that, didn't want to be thinking about it. She tried so hard over the last few years to forget that, forget him. It had almost worked, until he decided to waltz right back into her life.

Then there was the other vampire, Angel. She always hated seeing him, not because she held any resentment toward the brunette vampire. No, because seeing him reminded her of what they never could be. She would always love Angel, always. Nothing could change that, nothing ever would. But it was clear they couldn't be together...it just wouldn't end well. If he didn't have that pesky curse, things might be different. But she couldn't spend her life thinking of the what ifs and wondering about how her life could be different. She had to just deal with the here and now.

Which was what she was so desperately attempting to so. It was just taking a lot of effort on her part. When Angel offered to come along, she gave a quick nod. It would be nice to have some alone time with him, maybe they would talk. Then again, maybe they wouldn't. Maybe it would be simply business between them. Either way, it was a good idea. She had learned over the years it wasn't always smart to go in intending to beat people up for info with no backup. Sometimes those people knew you were coming, then you would have a big brawl on your hands. Angel would make good backup. "That would be great, I could use the backup. I don't want to drag any of the girls into this mess just yet, after all, they aren't slayers anymore." She knew some of them could hold their own, but others were still struggling. Not matter how good they could fight, Buffy never let herself forget they were no longer slayers.

After a slight moment of uncomfortable silence, Angel spoke up again. Spike sure was being quiet, more so than what she was used to. He was different, yet the same. It sure was enough to confuse a girl. Buffy really wished he would say something, let out a cocky line like his old self, anything. At least it might make the tension more bearable in the room, less awkward. However, it didn't seem he was going to open his mouth, still standing by the doorway. Her eyes passed over to Angel as he spoke, vocalizing his departure it seemed. She frowned slightly as she suddenly realized that one on one conversation with Spike was going to come up sooner rather than later. Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all, maybe she could go forever not speaking to him. Do the same thing she had been dong the last few years, ignoring he ever lived. Somehow she didn't think that would work out quite as well as it sounded.

"We have rooms set up for everyone on your team. Anything you guys need, just ask. We don't have much, but we can try and get it." She paused for a moment, look down then back up, her gaze meeting Angel's directly. She locked eye contact with him for a moment, giving him a small smile. It wasn't a real one, but it was something that she hoped would let him know how thankful she was. "Thank you for coming Angel." Even though she didn't ask him to come, and even though it wasn't her idea, she was glad he was here. He always had been her rock, always there for her when she needed him the most.

Not able to keep eye contact with him any longer, she shifted her gaze over to Spike and instantly almost wished she didn't. The look on his face made it clear he wasn't looking forward to any confrontation that was about to happen. Great, just great. She was going to have to do this, have this conversation, as much as she didn't want to. She needed answers though, she deserved that much. Buffy deserved to know why he had waited this long to show up.

[spike]

((OOC: This one might be short...my son is screaming, but I wanna get something in haha let's see what I can get done!))


Here it was. The most awkward moment of Spikes life...well death. He was here alone with Buffy, and well frankly he didn't want to talk to her at that moment. Well he did, just didn't know what to say. He didn't like it when she was dissapointed in him, and she was most likely past that point. He didn't know what to tell her. What is there to tell. 'I didn't tell you I was back because I was afraid.' Spike wasn't supposed to be afraid. Though the last time he saw her he was afraid. He was scared not because he was going to die, but because he knew it would be the last time he would see her. Or so he thought. So didn't she. Maybe he was just nervous because of the last moments they ahd spent together. Whatever the reason, he was not prepared for this moment.

He had dropped all sarcasm by this point. 'Buffy....' he trailed off not knowing what to say. He didn't want to make a wise crack joke. This was too important. He needed her to know that he was sorry. Sincerly sorry. He just didn't know on how to go about the likes of it. He was a vampire for crying out loud. Apologising wasn't in his job descritption. 'I...i..im sorry I didn't tell you.' There he said it. Got it out, off his chest. Then why didn't feel like this conversation was going to get any easier? This wasn't going to be the easiest thing anyways, and he felt like it was going to be harder just because he was standing here with Buffy.

[buffy anne summers]

Her eyes lingered at the doorway where Angel stood moments before. Maybe she was wishing he was back, maybe she was wishing she could just walk out like he did. She wasn't really sure, she just knew she wasn't looking forward to the next few minutes. Thats where the truth would come out, and she was afraid. Yes, the big bad slayer was seriously afraid. She didn't want to know the truth, she didn't want to hear Spike say that he hadn't wanted to come back. Those last moments they spent together, as he was in the middle of burning up to save the world, she had given him what he wanted. But it wasn't just that, she had opened up, let her soul out for him. And...and then he was gone. At least she had thought he was gone, but here he was, standing in front of her as good as new.

When he said her name she turned, finally looking him in the eyes. Something about his voice scared her, this wasn't the normal Spike attitude she was used to. She braced herself, almost positive he was about to tell her the reason he hadn't shown up on her doorstep before now was that he hadn't wanted to. He had probably moved on, forgotten her. She couldn't blame him for that, but it didn't mean she wanted to hear it. Instead, he said he was sorry. Biting her lip, she shook her head to the side, letting her blonde hair (longer than it was when they last saw each other) twist about her face. He was sorry?

"Spike..." She trailed off, not really sure where to go from there. He didn't understand, just saying sorry wouldn't change anything. It couldn't change the past, words meant nothing right now. Her gaze met his once more. "Your sorry? That doesn't...it...ugh!" She threw her hands up in frustration and turned away from him, instead walking towards the closest window. She looked down at the world below, wishing she was down there instead of up here having this conversation. She didn't want to think about it, because when she thought about it, it hurt.

"You don't get it. I thought you were dead. I spent the last few years...and it turns out you aren't a ball of dust. You are clearly not dust. And you didn't tell me." Her voice cracked on that last sentence and she mentally yelled at herself. She didn't want to give away that he had hurt her, she didn't want him to know how much she had missed him. But as her voice cracked, she refused to let any tears fall. She should be glad he was back, but she couldn't get over the fact he hadn't told her. For some reason, he didn't want her to know.

That was what hurt the most.

{{its ok! i loved it how it was. }}

[spike]

Spike wasn't prepared for what happened next. He knew she was hurting. There was no possible way she couldn't be hurting. What made him more mad then anything was that he was the one that made her feel this way. 'i was wrong, I am man enough to admit that. I am sorry. There has to be something I can do to prove to you how sorry I am. I didn't tell you becuase...well...I ...' Spike couldn't say it. He just couldn't. He didn't know if it was his ego not letting him or if it was just admitting to weakness. He needed to though, it was the only way he could attempt to fix what he had caused.

I was scared Buffy. I was afraid that everything that you had said was just something you said to make my final moments happier. Buffy I was content in thinking those were real emotions, I couldn't imagine what I would feel like if you were to tell me otherwise.' He was expecting her to prove his assumptions true. He didn't want her to but there was that possiblility. Hopefully she owuld understand.

He walked closer to her, put a hand on each of her shoulders, he needed her to look at him while he said this. ' I love you Buffy Summers, and well if the only way I coudl keep those thoughts of you loving me was to not inform you I was back was the only way to keep them I would do it. It killed me everyday to hear your voice and not tell you. I wanted nothing more then to rush to you and tell you I was back here, to be with you, I just couldn't handle the rejection.' There he said it. Let it all out, he was an open book. Nothing left to tell.

He looked deep into her eyes.'Is there any way that you can forgive me?

[buffy anne summers]

Buffy refused to look at him. If she didn't look at him, she wouldn't have to deal with any of this, right? Somehow she had a feeling there was some flaws in her logic. The fact of the matter was he was here, and she was going to have to deal with it. She wasn't really sure what was going to happen next, but she was positive she wanted to be far away. This whole thing was difficult and unexpected. After all, she had already convinced herself Spike had never been alive. The last few years she never talked about him and tried not to think about him. All her friends knew better then to bring him up in daily conversation. Dawn hated that, she told Buffy multiple times that they couldn't just act like he didn't exist. But Buffy wanted to. She didn't think she could stand the pain of losing someone else.

Sure it was dumb, acting like she was 16. Not matter how hard she tried, he was always still in the back of her mind. And right now he was also standing in front of her. What was she suppose to do? She couldn't deal with this right now. There were more important things, like the big bad intent on killing all potentials and growing an army of super strong vampires. That should be top priority. She never should have agreed to have Angel and his team come. Because now, not only did she have to deal with seeing Angel, she also had to deal with Spike. It was almost too much for her to handle. When he started talking, admitting he was wrong and sorry, she almost looked up at him. Almost. His voice sounded sincere enough, that was true. But sometimes sorry wasn't enough. "Spike..." She trailed off, and he picked back up where he left off.

"I was scared Buffy. I was afraid that everything that you had said was just something you said to make my final moments happier." She frowned, her lips turning down as she thought over that. She already knew that much, he had told her that before she left. Said that she didn't really mean that. Their last moments together (or at least so she thought at the time), and he didn't believe a word she said. Actually thought she made it all up to comfort him. For months after the end of Sunnydale she had pondered the same thought. She no longer knew if she had loved him or not. Maybe she had just said it to make his death more bearable. Suddenly she didn't know anymore. So she had started ignoring the fact he ever existed. It worked for a while.

Until he decided to show up on her doorstep, years later. He walked closer to her and her heart sped up. She couldn't help it, the sound beating loudly in her own ears. Then his hands were on her shoulders and her heart sped up even more. The feel of his skin on hers...it brought up all those memories once more. She couldn't help it. There was chemistry between them, there always had been. Even when they were fighting each other, even when he was trying to kill her. Even now, years later, the contact of his skin on hers caused goosebumps. She was now forced to look up at him, make deep eye contact, despite how much she didn't want to.

After a few seconds of silence he started talking. It wasn't anything surprising, it was expected. She was used to his declaration of love, he had done it multiple times before. In an odd way it was comforting. But she wasn't sure how to respond. Before, she would yell at him to stop talking, or punch him. Or just ignore it. But now, now that everything had been changed...well, she wasn't sure of her feelings anymore. She wasn't even sure if she loved to begin with. Everything had been mixed up, and seeing him back here again, it just complicated matters even more.

"Is there any way that you can forgive me?"

She looked down, away from his gaze. Maybe she was a coward, just call her Buffy the coward. But she wasn't sure how to deal with this. All of it was new. Not to mention seeing Angel brought back her feelings for him as well. And it was all just complicated! "I..." She took a step away, sliding out from under his hands. Maybe she would be able to think better this way, without him touching her. "I think I'm going to need time. This is all just so...unexpected. An hour ago I thought you were dead. Now your back and...its unexpected. There are more important things to be worrying about at the moment. This new big bad is posing a serious threat, I can't be worrying about my own life." She was on the verge of babbling, but her emotions were so mixed. Part of her still wanted to hit him for not telling her he was back. Part of her wanted to just give in and kiss him. Another part wanted to run far, far away. At the moment she was leaning more toward that last part.


And suddenly the truth was out.

[spike]

The whole time that Spike spoke he felt like she was trying to ignore him. Trying to wish him to disappear. He almost wished he could. It would of atleast prevent him from having to sit here and go through this. He wished he was anywhere but here. She would look away or close her eyes. Keeping her attention from always being on him. This was making him think that his assumptions were true. What other idea was he supposed to get from the way she was acting. He had been lying to himself, she felt nothing. He was just another thing that she had used to make the world better, atleast she had tried to make his final hour mean something.

Spike was hurt. When she tried to talk he kept going not letting her get a word in. He admitted to being afraid, he admitted to feeling better about the lie then knowing the truth. Spike let everything out. He couldn't walk out of that room without her knowing. Then if he decided to leave before she saw him again she would atleast know how he really felt. He still had the hope that she was honest in those last moments they had shared so many years ago.

Coming to a close Buffy finally spoke up and wiggled herself from his grip. Not helping his self esteem on the situation, in fact it made him feel as if she wanted to be anywhere but near him. I think I'm going to need time. This is all just so...unexpected. An hour ago I thought you were dead. Now your back and...its unexpected. There are more important things to be worrying about at the moment. This new big bad is posing a serious threat, I can't be worrying about my own life."

What was he to expect? Her rushing to his arms and admitting her undying love to him. Probably not. He stood there in silence taking in what she had said. It was only about a minute before he spoke but it felt like forever. 'Alright slayer, take your time.' With that Spike left in his usual attitude and manner of things. No longer revealing the emotional side of himself. He didn't think he would again. It was hard to do it this once and he was afraid of heartache if he did again.

Spike left the meeting room and made way to where he hoped he would find someone to direct him in the location of his room. He would dwell there for awhile before he would decide if it would be better for him to leave and leave Buffy in peace and happiness or to stay and help out so that the other potentials had no harm come to them. Spike was in for a long night of thinking.

[buffy anne summers]

She was a coward. Simple as that. She was afraid to face her feelings and afraid to do anything about them. So instead she chose the safe and easy way out, avoiding eye contact and stepping away. And asking for time. It was something she was good at, a learned skill if you will. But still, the moment the words left her mouth she almost instantly regretted them. She was denying everything, being a coward. Maybe it was that whole slayer thing. Afraid to get close because she knew her time was limited. She was already playing with faith being alive this long. It was a known fact she should be dead. Hell, she had died, more than once. Slayers were never suppose to live long. Their expiration date was short, like a cheeto. Which was why she always stopped herself short of getting too close. Sure, once or twice she had slipped up. But she was still licking her wounds from those times. Dare she mention Angel? Yeah, that one had stung, even know. Still seeing him brought back all those memories and it had been years.

Of course, Spike was more recent. Maybe that was why she was so keen to be a big old coward. She couldn't look at him, didn't want to see his face. So she turned away, her back facing him. It hurt, and she knew it would sting him as well. Of course she wasn't expecting what happened next, she wasn't expecting him to go back to normal cocky Spike self and attitude. She probably should have seen it coming, after all, she did just walk away from his whole confession of love. But she couldn't face that...not yet. So when he told her to take her time she was relieved. She couldn't deal with this, not with everything else going on. It was too hard.

After a few seconds of silence she heard him leave, walking through the same doorway Angel had just moments before. Some talk that had been. They hardly lasted but a few minutes before she sent him away. What was wrong with her? Seeing him here...in front of her...alive...it had brought back so many memories. Good and bad. And they all had come so suddenly. She had spent the last years ignoring his existence, and now she was forced to remember it. So all those emotions she had been suppressing suddenly came rushing forward on her. Before she had been angry and in shock and confused. Now came the heartache, the feeling of abandonment, the tight feeling in her chest. It all flooded down on her at once and she was unsure of how to react.

So for once in her life she didn't think about it. She spun around so fast she was almost a blur, then she was out the door, walking fast down the hallway. She turned a corner just in time to see Spike. "Spike, wait!" She wasn't sure what she was going to do next, she wasn't sure what to say next. All she knew was everything had sneaked up on her. She had missed him. It was as simple as that. Taking a few steps forward she fell into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her head in his chest. "I missed you." She mumbled into his black shirt.

[spike]

His footstepss echoed down the hall with every step he took. Making the walk seem longer then he wished. Hell it was making him think even more. Was he too harsh? should he have left? Should he stay? Question after question was ramming his skull and each one panged his heart at the thought that Buffy didn't share the same feelings. What was he to do now? Finish this mission in annoying awkwardness as he watches as Angel tries to move in on her. It wasn't even a question of if, but when. The tension between them was still there Spike could see it, more on Angel then on buffy but it was still there. Maybe thats why Spike was being pushed from the picture.

Being caught up in all his own thoughts Spike didn't hear the rushed steps behind him. Rushed wasn't even the word for it, they were running steps. Spike, wait! he heard buffy call from behond him causing him to losse track of his thoughts and to turn around just in time to see blonde all in his face. She had wrapped herself all up in his arms and wrapped her own around him. He almost couldn't believe what was happening. "I missed you." Those three simple words right there would of stopped Spikes heart of it could beat. They were what he had wanted to hear. He wrapped one hand around her waist and the other on the back of her head. Loving the feel of having her close once again. This was how it was supposed to be.

'I missed you too Buffy.' He kept it at that. This moment didn't need any sarcasm from him. It needed no other words or motions. He wanted to hold her there for eternity. That's how longed it seemed it had been since the last time he had held her. He truly felt that this was where she belonged. It was perfect. Or atleast as oerfect as it could get with a vampire and a slayer.

[buffy anne summers]

She let out a sigh of relief when his arms wrapped around her body. She hadn't realized it until just then, but in the back of her mind she had been so worried he would push her away, tell her enough was enough. She deserved that much, she was sure of it. Of course he had been the one that didn't tell her he was back among the walking dead instead of the dust dead. They both had made mistakes, that was for sure. And while she wasn't sure of what she wanted, and didn't want to deal with her emotions, she was willing to let this much slide through. Because the truth of the matter was she had missed him. She had spent so much energy trying to convince herself the exact opposite, but upon seeing him...it all had gone out the door.

Being this close to him felt...right. During those last few months he had been her rock, her anchor. Loosing him had been so hard, it had taken a toll on her emotionally. But now, leaning against him, it felt better. Not a hundred percent, but better none the less. She had a lot to think over, a lot to worry about, and a lot to question. But there would be time for that later, right now she pushed all thought from her head and just held onto him tightly. She squeezed her eyes shut and took in a deep breath. She was memorizing the smell of him, that comforting smell of leather mixed with cigarettes. How she had missed that. She had missed everything. The way he always had something sarcastic to say. How he would put her in her place when she needed it, support her when it was best. The fighting. The long talks in her basement. Training the potentials with him. Even those nights when she worked at Doublemeat Palace. Every single thing. She had missed it all so much.

She didn't want to move, afraid to break the spell. She knew it would end soon, but for now...for now she wanted to draw it out as long as possible. So she didn't say a word, refusing to be the first one to speak. And she didn't move, not yet at least. She kept her eyes closed, breathing in the familiar scent of him, arms wrapped tightly around him.

[spike]

It was silent there was nothing to be said. She didn't speak and neither did he. There was no room for it. Everything that they had been through together went through his mind. Everything. From when he strutted to her house with a shotgun and she cried on his shoulder to when they were holding hands up to one another when he died to save the world. It all came back to him, and it made him hold her closer. He didn't want to leave her again even if this was all that they could have.

He loved her enough that he could live with this. He would have to if this was all that she wanted. He wanted. No he needed her to be happy. That was all he needed. Her happiness was the only thing that has ever made him strive for anything. That was one reason why he was willing to come here. He knew that everything that was going on wasn't going to be easy on her, and he needed to be here to help her through it. Just as he had been for countless other things.

They had been staanding there for awhile. Just holding one another. 'Got to go pet.' It wasn't what he wanted to say, but she had to go meet Angel and he needed to give her some space as well. Just because she came running back after him didn't mean she didn't need time. 'Angel will be waiting for you, and well we got some potentials to protect.' The words left his mouth but he was still holding her.